# ...sam...
# Samantha Then Hui Ting
# Zhenghua Pri Sch; 1A, 2A, 3P & 4P
# Parry Pri Sch; 5B, 6B
# Bowen Sec Sch; 1C, 2C, 3E1 & 4E1
# Millennia Institute; OG2 & 06B12
# Ngee Ann Poly; ACC
# Curtin Singapore; ACC & FIN
# 15 Nov 89; scorpio


# Games
# Piano
# Guitar
# black, white & blue
# own little world


#Friends stick together
#Score an A somewhere
#Pick up a dailect
#Go Taiwan
#Move out


# Last Day of Work = 24th Jul'09
# First Day of School = 27th Jul'09

Just The Girl @ 6:00 PM


thought i'd get back to blogging after MIA for such a long time... Basically had Common Tests, then went to JB over the weekend and then had COMM Camp 4... next thing coming up is Envoys Camp... and the bloody project deadlines...

having a whole mix of emotions right now... but first i really wanna thank ah gek for scolding me back to reality that nite... he showed me why my life is so bloody screwed up rite now... but seriously now is a lil too late to change it... and also at the wrong time... so i kinda have to live with it and at the first opportunity change it... im sure i'll be happy with my choices one day... juz u wait and see... =)

was on the phone with derek juz now... toking abt yesterday's debrief... it wasn't exactly pleasant... but at least things got trashed out and hopefully they can understand each other better and work things out... when they were trashing stuff out... i personally felt for samantha, qingfu and su ern... they were in the exact position i was one year ago... breaking down... parents nagging... friends not really supportive... grades slipping like hell... it juz brought tears for me... i never felt that anyone shd have to go through all that juz for something they want to do and then be so fucking stressed out and then feel like itz an obligation rather than wad they wanna do... itz really not fun... i still remember my parents will lock the gate and not let me in if i reach hm after 11.30pm... then i would stand outside until my dad decides to let me in... parent pressure is no fun... same to peer pressure... my friends were asking me to put down bacomm after the RD last year... they meant well lar... they felt that i was being used and stuff... coz they felt that i was doing a lot of sai kang myself... at that point of time... i used to blame bacomm for my plight as well... i always felt that "hey! how come i end up doing all the publicity stuff until 12 mid and still not done... dammit! because of bacomm i cannot get my sleep... then im gonna nap in tutorials all over again!"... it was until alex debriefed me... then i realised it was really my own fault... i didn't open my mouth and ask... so how the hell would they know... then it results in all the miscomm and misunderstandings... which make ppl so pek chek with each other... then i finally understood that if i really cannot do it... juz say... itz nothing pai seh... juz be transparent with one another... then also you can understand why the person said this and tat too... then u noe why he or she can or cannot help u... i mean like... i won't juz ignore ur plea for help and watch the event fail ma... i oso wanna watch the event be sucessful... then of course i will help u juz to make it sucessful ma... though yar lar... depending on different people... whether after they help u and then bitch ard abt u itz a different thing... if they do... then tatz a sad story... and i noe how dam sad that is coz it has happened to me before... and it really pushes a person down alot... it hurts... hiazzzz... i really hope su ern, pei shan, huiying and ernie sort out their differences soon... itz really frigging sad to see a grp of friends formed through this interest grp juz dissolve their friendship over misunderstandings juz coz they are in the exco now... itz heartbreaking... coz itz like... hey we the previous exco made this choice to put them in it... and it sours their wonderful friendship... itz not worth it... i remember marvin said the same thing... if we are juz gonna do things in bacomm juz we have to... and in the end feel so pek chek and pissed with each other... then he rather close down bacomm... coz the main purpose he formed bacomm was coz he wanted it to be some place where ppl of the same interest come to have fun... i guess every new leader has to go through this phase... i juz hope they pull through it fast...

this is to marshmallows... i dunnoe wad to say... i juz kinda feel drifted from you guyz... i mean like... i dun feel anything common with u all anymore... you all seldom tell me anything anymore... and even if u all do... i still need to rack my brains and think if itz the truth or nt... itz dam tiring... u all make it sound like im so god dam free juz coz im not working... and i have a maid at hm... got parents that sometime fetch me ard... i dunnoe lar... i juz feel that... when i hang out with u guyz the last few times... i juz feel that i dun really belong there anymore... like you 5 are better off without dragging me ard... im juz forming restrictions for u all when u all go out...

Phoebe wanna Lalala says:
den can i book u fer dinner?

Phoebe wanna Lalala says:
planning of having marshmallow dinner

Phoebe wanna Lalala says:
cos 2 jul is our 2 year liaoz

i can only promise you guyz i'll try and think about it... maybe you all are seriously better off without me... then you all dun need think so much abt where to eat when to meet and stuff... for the 5 of u all... the schedule seems easier to meet up... i rather u all go ahead without me... so sorry if this is gonna hurt any of u... i noe alvin gonna scold fuck the moment he sees this... phoebe probably will try and convince me... SL probably will also do the same... jia jun probably will juz sigh... chunrong probably wldn't know how to react... sure i miss the times we went out... those memories will stay... thankz for them... i really appreciate the times u all helped me when i was down and all... oso for my first time at kbox... first time at vivo... u guyz ate the first tiramisu i made... first time mahjong was played at my hse... first time my friends stayed over at my place... first time i stayed out till pass 12 mid... first time i took the nite bus... first time i spent new year counting down with friends... and many many more first times... maybe if i split from u all even better still... then u all dun need to rack ur brains for lies and test me on my reaction on jia jun =P! hahaz... i guess i juz need to think it through now... dun worry... i really will alrite? i juz hope u all will respect my decision no matter wad... =)

getting back to ah gek... if u read this... like i said before... thankz alot for being there... though u were dam busy and sick... so sorry to take up ur project time as well... i feel so dam guilty lar... coz not first time liao... i let u play GTA and DJ Max on my psp more ok?? hahaz... i think i'll seriously miss u when u go china for ur attachment lar! T.T... thankz for the knock back to reality... really needed it... i bet after that knock... i wun breakdown all the way till at least end of this sem! oh yar... eeyore getting old liao... i wan another one! hahaz! =P my bjrthday ok?? jkjk only lar... i still love it... can u bloody hell go find the dagger i gave u last time... so bad lar! i give u... then u say u love it... then u lose it... hiazzzz...

as u can see im beginning to crap already... so i'll juz end here...

i will make my life change, by making decisions with want i want in my life... the moment i have the chance to... i will... i dun care how long it might take... but i promise myself i will...

"Everybody's got something
They had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday
That just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways
To let you go

I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you, yeah

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
And tommorow can never be
'Cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways
To let you go"

Never had a Dream Come True by S Club 7

"却不再为你醉
至少已经学会

自己照顾自己的胃
习惯空虚相随
有时饿了想要你喂
累了想要你安慰
孤单想要你来陪
有时想把时间倒回"

Hey Baby by 黄立成 & Machi

a photo i thought i'd upload... took this during the war games at comm camp... abit sucky quality coz use my hp camera... when i get the better version from xing xian i'll upload it... =)

Just The Girl @ 10:00 PM