Friday, August 31, 2007
2day was supposed to do my piano theory which i have neglected for a very long time... in the end... i got lazy as usual and started to surf the net... found one's blog abt me... was totally negative... thatz the thing i hate abt blogs... it is an outlet for a person to write at... but it prevents things from being smoothened out... but ani't i doing the same now??? hiazzz...i wanna clarify that when i do things... i do it for my INTEREST and i seek NO credits... u must have misheard that day... i was trying to clarify my reactions to a previous incident that u oso noe of... but dun noe of the reasons either... and another thing is that if u say that i'm doing slipshot work... if i really did... i wld admit... i wun find excuses... i am tat kind of person... so sad to understand that u dun noe me well enough... also if u found that the stuff i did was a BIG SCREW UP... i AGREE with u and i have ADMITTED it as well... too bad u did not catch... well at least i learned something from it... a word of advise... next time if u find ppl irritating, plz SPEAK UR MIND... if nt how the how is anyone supposed to noe?!?!? itz not like we can read ur mind rite? was i supposed to noe that u needed peace and quiet and tat u wanted to ignore ur phone??? next time get ur facts rite before u complain or whine..."we were friends...but not anymore now... thanks for the reminder..."
Just The Girl @
11:00 AM
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
went KPool today at amk... to celebrate HWJ birthday... met chun rong ther playing with his sec sch mates... after tat went to KFC to cut cake and makan...
...ghost...
...HWJ & Hong Ying...
...again...
...and again...
...punch...
...ssssshhhhhssss...
...20th b'dae cake... 
...HWJ & da-sao...
...20 yrs old liao, still so act cute...
...got b'dae cake still nt happy...
...cutting cake in process...
...juz cut it! already...
Just The Girl @
2:30 PM
Friday, August 24, 2007
You Don't Know Lyrics
By:Westlife
Nobody knows me
Yet everyone knows my name
Some people judge me
Not knowing that I'm the same
Thanks for the offer
But I keep my old friends always
But then I get lonely
Counting the endless days
Are you here for me at all?
Do you care for me at all?
Well, this time now I know
I ain't standing alone no more
Cos all I want is love
Someone who can share the pain I feel
And the eyes that stare
Won't stare at me no more
Cos all I need is time
Time for me to open up and show
The person I am
The person you think you know
You don't know
You don't know
Some heartfelt emotions
Creeping from deep inside
Cause being this person
Is all I've got left to hide
Were you here from me at all?
Did you care for me at all?
Last time I was told
I ain't standing alone no more
All I need is love
Someone who can share the pain I feel
And the eyes that stare
Won't stare at me no more
And all I need is time
Time for me to open up and show
The person I am
The person you don't know
You don't know
You don't know
You don't know...
sometimes... really feel like what the lyrics describe...someone that hides what his/her true self inside... only to be misjudged by people around... sometimes it just requires a little time and concern from those around... before that someone can open up and reveal who he/she real is like and be accepted but who he/she really is...i kinda formed this shell ever since i returned to singapore from canada baz... coz when i came back... i went straight to primary 1... yes... with the canadian accent... anyway i lost it in a yr's time... thanks to PCK!!! hahaz... anyway... back to point is that... i kinda seemed strange to my classmates... pluz im probably the first person they've seen get straight band 4 for the whole yr!!! my form teacher Miss Goh... she always seemed to be there for me somehow... which was very comforting... imagine being seperated from the class... 29 VS 1!!! when recess came... i would juz hide in one corner in the school and pass that 45 mins... sometimes trying very hard to catch up with my bloody homework... even at primary 1 i was doing homework till 12am -1am!!! maybe it juz kinda became a habit now... my dad will oftern threaten me... "don't finish your work before dinner... you don't eat..." then i would juz strave till they sleep then i'll go sneak some biscuits... hehez... it was until primary 2 that i found my first real best friend... someone who didn't push me away coz i was different... best part!!! she juz lived next blk to me!!! hahaz... then our parents became good friends too... we have the same chinese name... birthday 2 dayz apart... too good to be true... =)after tat... recess didn't become a dread anymore... i think i still have her scissors which i borrowed and forgot to return!!! hahaz... then when we remained in the same class in primary 3... we were even closer... it was so called a fresh start for me... coz i had lost my accent... so was not that strange anymore... then met a few more friends... hahaz... also still in touch with those few though... made quite a few enemies as well... nearly got into a fight once... luckily my friend reminded me how it was not worthwhile... taunted everyday by a few guyz... very pek chek... it's like they were oso not very creative lor... everyday the same few words... i remember during a test my teacher helped me get rid of the nuisance seated behind me... then i already knew that after school i was gonna get it... true enough... before i could leave the classroom they got to me... they took my books and threw it at me... lucky a prefect walked pass... another one of my friends too... hahaz... at the end of primary 4... i moved from bukit panjang... to kovan area... where i live now basically... my life took a deep plunge... i was afraid... very afraid... afraid that history would repeat itself.... being verused by the class... taking one whole yr before getting to know any friends... and it kinda did... i wasn't readily accepted in the class... reason being different again... hahaz... i think i did not alter my uniform... coz my mum knew i did not like to wear anything to do with skirts... so left it long... to make it not feel like a skirt... hehez... after lessons i wld juz hang ard the library... coz sometimes were waiting for my bro to end his cca... my classmates usually hang abt the playground nearby... pt is that most of them already had this bond with them from primay 1 to 4... there's no way you can juz join in like tat... tauntings started again... this time were things like "no. you very short.","your good marks come from bootlicking the teacher rite?" etc. etc. soon it juz got uglier... until i would really dread going to school... every morning i would pretend i had a cough or something to try not to go... once my maths workbook got thrown from lvl2 onto the cover of lvl1... had to get a new one and do everything all over again... my parents didn't help either... if at 9pm i'm still doing homework... tio rotan le... every 30mins 1 time... once my mum could not find the rotan then she took the wooden spoon... wah lao lar!!! dam pain... she wacked until the bloody thing broke lar! then she'll cry then ask why she got such a slow learner for a daughter... u think i wanna learn slow meh... i oso wanna slp de ma... soon i slowly became quiet... i can go hm and my family dun even know that im hm sometimes... i'll juz stay quietly in my room and do my work... cannot finish oso say finish... then the unfinished... go sch next morning before assembly to do... 2 yrs passed and i moved on to secondary sch...same feeling... same uncertainty... worse outcome... hahaz... but not too bad... i met my first gang of friends that i hold close to my heart even until now... we did almost every project we could together... i still remember during secondary 1... i had to go to the hall juz to get one chair nearly everymorning... juz to realise at the end of the sem tat my chairs had disappeared into the power box area... one whole stack of them!!! hahaz... most of the time taunted for my height... my ugly face... again my un-alter skirt... if thatz the way i am... i guess i can't help it rite... im born with it whether i like it or nt... itz not like i chose to be like dat... im juz like dat... then sometimes during lunch and recess i would end up chatting with my maths teacher Mr. Yu... he was like a grand father to me lar... sometimes i late he oso juz close both eyes let me pass quickly... hehez... he oso everytime compare to his daughter lar... "u hor... like my daughter in the past... dun like wear skirt de... everytime only pants and jeans...hiazzz... then grow up then wear skirt... u oso will be no different lor..." i doubt so... hehez... the other teacher was Mr. Bay... i would say he was the first person to give me encouragement in my secondary sch life... he was my PE teacher... coz we were playing touch rugby... then i dunnoe why but i became a favourite target... when i first got away... he told me "great job... keep it up!" i was shocked lar... after that he tried to irritate me in a very different way from my class... he's quite tall... actually much taller as i compare to him... whenever he sees me entering the staff room... then he knows im going to Mr. Yu's table which is the same row as him but juz further in... he would stand up from his table and try to block me... then we would start our little match... hahaz... sometimes i would juz chiong when i enter the staffroom and chiong back out... sometimes i oso manage to get pass him by pure luck... those were really the fun times of secondary sch... usually ppl have the fun times with their classmates... mine was usually with my gang of friends and with the teachers who cheered me up alot after toking with them... during secondary 2... the Austin Powers show came out... the best part... "moley moley moley"... for those who dun noe... i used to have a mole on my right cheek... thatz where it got very irritating... the guyz in my class can juz keep picking on me the whole dam day... oso at the end of secondary 2 did i realise... actually for the guyz... it was cool for them to pick on me... coz one of them picked on me at sch... but on msn at hm he wld apologise... and juz kept saying alot of "er...", "no choice...", "pai seh..." secondary 3... i removed the mole... only my close friends knew... the rest knew from one of the guyz from my sec2 class... he realised when he wanted to irritate me... but he could not find anything to point to... then he went to ask my friends... then they confirmed it... the best part was they yelled across 3 classes "MOLE-LESS!"... i was laughing instead le... hiding i wld say most of pek chek feeling inside... itz like... i got mole u say... i no mole u oso say... wad the hell do u wan?!?!? then got one come and ask me "pain or nt?"... take a knife a cut urself on ur cheek then u tell me pain or not lor... but seriously not as pain as how much humiliation i've gotten from u all since secondary 1... then at secondary 4... we had our own tables... separate from each other... i found a way to shield myself from the hurt i always felt... i took the seat closest to the front door... pushed it a little more front... and kept myself to my own world... the word "INDEPENDANT" hit me hard then... i only relied on myself and no one esle... i can still remember the words from one of my classmates on teachers' day when they were taking the class photos... "sam... can u not be in the photos??"... i only replied... "i wld love to be out as well..." end of sec sch life...now currently in poly... i now realise i kinda bond more with those outside my class... my Marshmallow grp of friends are all not in my class... BA_COMM none in my class... PSP... oso none in my class... i kinda stick to my own world... like my Audit tutor always told me "Samantha you are always wired up in your own world..."
i believe i truly am...
for the past 17 pluz years of my life so far... i've quite a few bunches of friends... here and there... those from primary sch are still some what in touch... secondary school more often for KPool tables and GV halls... poly more for dinners and occasionaly sports... hahaz... but few have i ever opened up to... if i've cried to u before... probably thatz it... coz thatz wad's usually inside... juz years of bottled up sadness... dunnoe why... but yar... itz juz tat... but of course if i cry out... itz the relevent ones... the old ones... i keep inside... coz itz not something for anyone esle to burden... sometimes itz not only to gals do i cry out to... sometimes... guyz oso... i see who probably can understand the situation im in before i call... thatz yy end up got misunderstandings from ppl sometimes... actually most of the time... hahaz... they wld think i like that guy thatz yy i called him to cry...hahaz... juz one call makes that difference sia... i think my past experience hardened the shell that i created back then when i first started primary 1... thatz yy usually in a new crowd... i wun tok... unless someone toks to me first... thatz yy oso when i need help... i still dun turn to anyone... coz i wanna depend on myself and only myself... same thing at home and at sch... i think coz it kinda makes me feel alot safer this way... but i think oso i take a very long time to trust people... probably afraid of history repeating itself again... coz i think my mindset is that... if i dun trust u... no matter wad u say does not matter to me... coz u dun even noe who i am... hiazzz... a bad habit in need to change... badly...
Just The Girl @
1:00 PM
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
2 down... 2 more to go!!!
hiazzz... so tired from all the exams... coz i dun do tutorials so end up i do them before the exams... pluz i juz got a fever last nite!!! my god... so today when i got home and finished my lunch at 1pm... i slept all the way till 6pm when my dog woke me up... again! my dog has this funny logic in her... if you are sleeping when she is also sleeping, it's fine... but if you are sleeping when she is awake, it's never fine until you are fully awake! tomorrow still need to study COST and IFA... both also has formats to memorise... sianzzz arh... then somemore maybe need to go Jing Lun's place to teach him macroecons... i saw how feng ling and rong chun taugh him chinese last year... i think im as good as dead... hahaz... better stock up on my sleeping hours again... already stocked 5 hrs in the afternoon... hahaz...
Quote:
"咖啡麻醉不了孤单...只会让夜更长..."
靠岸 by 林宇中
Just The Girl @
2:35 PM
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Back from JB!!!
returned from JB on fri nite... coz my dad had to head back to office on sat... hiazzz... i seriously do more studying at JB than in SG... coz there's no internet... no phone... and nth on tv... hahaz...
anyway... today went to school to got for IFA consultation... then went to library to study COST... so dam tired... carry a thick file and lappy... btw today used the word 'wait' 3 times...
1st : made Gabriel wait for me to take same bus to school this morning... ard 30 mins like dat...
2nd: saw Aniszah at the canteen today... then realised she was waiting for Mathiaus... hahaz... the best part was... they were supposed to meet ard 12pm... and when she called him at 12pm... he was at hm slping... hahaz... end up he only met her at 2 pluz...
3rd: Gabriel and I were waiting for his friend to come to school to study as well... coz we wanted to train him to write faster... hahaz... in the end he made us wait from 10am to 1 pluz... never saw Gabriel so angry before lor... hahaz... maybe got lar... when dealing with our a-maths teacher... =P
...helping hand...
those who find that above picture familiar... itz from 'I'm not stupid 2' ...
today when i came down of 74 on my way home... i saw a phone at the busstop... dun ask me which model... coz for those who noe me well enough... i only carry motorola phones... so dun ask me abt the others... it was a black sony ericson phone... i was surprised that nobody had taken the phone yet lor... coz it was there quite long le as it was quite warm from the heat on the seat... i fiddled with it for a while and finally found the owner's dad's number... believe me when i say i dun noe how to use handphones other than motorola! hahaz... anyway... called his dad... he was a person who only spoke chinese... so when i first spoke to him in english he was quite lost... then he was like '你是谁?' kinda expected lar... hahaz... took me quite a while to get the point that his son/daughter had dropped his handphone at the busstop... when he finally got it, he kept uttering thanks and asked me how i could pass it to him... coz i told him i'm at serangoon north... then he told me that they stay at hougang... then i was like... sianzzz... out of way to home... but in the end decided to meet him at the hougnag interchange... coz from where i was there was quite a few bus to the interchange... and i have bus home from there anyway... so i took a bus down... during the whole journey the mother of the owner kept calling... then when the teen finally reached home... his mum got him to call his own phone to thank me... you could hear his mum in the backgrd yelling at him what to say... hahaz... classic... something any parent would probably do to make sure that their child appears well-mannered.... then i waited for them to come... ard 10-15 mins later a middle-aged couple turned up... their faces were smiling and you could sense the relief that they felt... at first i thought it wld juz be i pass them the handphone then they will start thanking me all over again like on the phone... but the mother surprised me... she wanted to pass me 30 buckz!!! itz like... i didn't expect her to do that... i could feel how grateful they were already, i did not expect more form them! when i rejected she stuffed it into my COST notes file... l0lz!!! it's like when i say that the anxiety from their face disappeared coz they saw their son's handphone... that was good enough for me... coz that'z something no amount of anything can buy... in the end i took the money, coz she already stuffed it down my file and thanked me one more time and left... i had nth to say le...
while taking 147 home... i was thinking about the times i lost my stuff...
i lost my wallet...
i lost my ezlink...
both somehow had been returned to me... this time was for me to return something...
passing it on..........
Just The Girl @
2:00 PM
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Happy 42nd Birthday Singapore!!!
Pakwing's 18th birthday oso today...
juz celebrated jj's birthday with the marshmallows at lau ba sa a few hours ago... got home at around 12am after dropping jj and chun rong... heng my dad did not scold sia... i think his mood good juz now... coz he oso never scold me for not picking up phone... today went to play pool with chun rong, alvin and one of their classmates... played until 5.10 like dat... then after dat pei jj go sch for his cca... coz couldn't go home... if i went home, i would not be able to leave me house to go out at nite... hiazzz... then end up sitting at the swimming complex there doing IFA papers... then at 8 pluz head to plaza singapura with him and ivy... then met phoebe, alvin and shenglong there... then chun rong late!!! hahaz... expected shenglong to be late rather than chun rong... from there we took bus go lau pa sha to MAKAN!!! hahaz... by the time reach there and settle what to eat already 10.30pm le lor... how to reach home at around 11pm?!?!? that's why i missed 2 of my dad's calls... didn't want to pick up coz i noe will kena 'Come home now hor!No excuses'... then while eating alvin still describing to ivy how the class gave jj his birthday 'gift'... "Everybody prepare one bottle of water... pour on him first then pour the coffee powder..." my god lar... they really did it lor... that day i saw jj... he was really brown... hahaz... next one... chun rong in october... good luck! first was whipped cream... second was flour... third was coffee powder... wonder what's next le... at the rate itz going sia... i'm gonna stay at home on my birthday!!! was really happy juz now... coz seldom got marshmallow at full force de... alvin, shenglong, jj, chun rong, phoebe, ivy and me... 7 of us... everytime got one will pang sei us lor... really enjoy gatherings like this... dun need big group... juz a close group will suffice...
Other birthdayz coming up!!!-19th august -Hui Fang-23rd august -Hong Ying-27th august -Wei JieGuess we are gonna have bbq at wei jie's place again... and maybe will suan hui fang through the phone again!!! hahaz...
Just The Girl @
4:00 PM
Sunday, August 5, 2007
went shopping for birthday present with phoebe and chun rong... went to bugis first then to raffles city... went from 2pm till 5 pluz!!! coz we seriously didn't know wad to buy... now i really realized why I dun go shopping unless i really need something badly... firstly, coz i dun have money to spend sia!!! to me everything is so expensive... unless i really want it... hahaz... secondly, i have very short attention span to do window shopping... thirdly... er... i think thatz all for now... hahaz... but at least in the end we did get something!!! =]
Quote:
"What's another night all alone?
When your spending everyday on your own"
I'm Just a Kid by Simple Plan
Just The Girl @
2:00 PM
Saturday, August 4, 2007
byebye lectures and tutorials... hello study break and exams!!! 2 more weeks to finals...
-------------------------------------------------
Financial Management
20th August, Mon
2.00pm-4.00pm
-------------------------------------------------
Auditing
21st August, Tues
9.00am-11.00am
-------------------------------------------------
Cost Accounting
23rd August, Thurs
2.00pm-4.00pm
-------------------------------------------------
Intermediate Financial Accounting
24th August, Fri
9.00am-11.00am
-------------------------------------------------
Just The Girl @
10:33 AM
Friday, August 3, 2007
in COST revision lecture now sia... so freaking tired... slept at 3am then woke up at 7am... only 4 hrs of sleep... hmm... actually not bad already coz sometimes only have 1-2 hrs of sleep... getting a sore throat now... all thanks to DOM!!! pass his cough to me... then somemore skipped lunch... probably too tired to go and eat baz... then end up no appetite...
Quote:
"Its all right, Im o.k.
I think God can explain
I believe Im the same
I get carried away"
I think God can explain by Splender
Just The Girl @
5:00 AM
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Just watched this movie... It's horror... so it has the usual sudden appearing spirits... Nothing exceptionally scary...
"Alone is a supernatural thriller about Pim, a Thai woman residing in Korea. She returns to Thailand because of her ailing mother.Before long, she begins to feel an unreasonable fear for a twin sister who had died during the operation to separate them. Pim wrestles with her fears amidst the possibility that the psychosis from the late twin may actually not be a hallucination after all."
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
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Stagewerkz '07...credits to Xing Xian for the design...
Stagewerkz '07 officially ended on 28th July '07... After 1 full month of preparation it has ended with 4 dayz of approximately 40 performances!!! Congrats to all... and Thank you for all that helped out...
It was a SUCCESS!!!
I just came back from the post Stagewerkz dinner at Essential Brews... It was fun... and we kinda took over the upper floor... hahaz... there was a computer hub where we were passing around our photos... there were also two game areas... one was playing the "Animal game" the other a combination of "Sha and fan sha" and other random actions thus changing the original Captain and Cow... hahaz...
Just The Girl @
2:00 PM
2 dayz ago... Stagewerkz '07 ended...
1 day ago... my dad returned home...
An hour ago... my fight with EAA ended!!!
Just The Girl @
5:00 AM
...wad pooling is abt...
...HWJ making his shot...
...the gor and mei... 
...again...
...and again... 
...punch...
...ssssshhhhhssss...
...HWJ & da-sao...
...20 yrs old liao, still so act cute... 
...got b'dae cake still nt happy...
...cutting cake in process...
...juz cut it! already...
Back from JB!!!
Other birthdayz coming up!!!
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Stagewerkz '07
